DRIVING JOKE

The one thing that drove me absolutely crazy about my boyfriend Bill was the way he drove. He would insist on driving in the dead center of a two way intersection, and no matter how much I complained, sulked, and threatened, nothing made a dent. The only consolation I found was the thought that at least the cars coming towards us, were staying in their lane. Sure enough, I soon resigned myself to my fate, but I would still cringe all too often while on the road.

Well, the day finally came when I was to meet Bill’s family. We headed to the small hick town that he was from in Pennsylvania, and had a grand ol’ time with his folks. It was when we went out for a drive in the old family pick up that I learned that things could get quite a bit worse. “Don’t worry about my husband’s driving in the center of the road,” said Bill’s mom with a big friendly smile, as we headed onto a two way intersection. “THAT’S WHAT EVERYONE DOES AROUND HERE!!”

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TIE JOKE

On the day of my big job interview I woke up late. Frantically I threw on a suit. “OH NO!” I thought. “MY TIE! My Dad was out of town and wasn’t there to help me, and for the life of me I did not know how to tie a tie!

I grabbed a tie and ran out the door. “Excuse me sir,” I said to the crossing guard, “I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!”

“Sure” said the guard, “just lie down on this bench.” Well if someone was going to help me I wasn’t going to ask any questions. After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down.

“Well in my previous job I learned how to tie tie’s on other people when they were lying down. He replied.

What was your previous job? I asked incredulously.

“I ran a morg.” Was the reply.

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NUN JOKE

Sister Marry was truly a religious woman. Besides for her duties as a nun, she was also very active in various hospitals visiting sick patients and taking care of all their needs.

So it was no surprise that one day when she ran out of gas, the only container she could find to put the gas into was a bedpan. Sister Mary happily walked two blocks to the closest gas station filled up the bedpan with gas and headed back to her car.

Luck would have it that as Sister Mary started tipping the gas into the fuel tank, the traffic light turned red and she had quite a large audience witnessing the spectacle.

Just when she finished pouring in the last drops of gas a fellow opened up his window and hollered, “I swear! If that car starts I’m becoming a religious man!”

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Computer Problems Joke

Becky was 73 and just got her first computer. After her son spent over 2 hours teaching her how to use it, she was sure she knew everything there was to know about computers. Unfortunately though, one day she couldn’t get it to start so she promptly called an IT guy to come over and take a look at it.

The IT guy managed to fix the issue in a few minutes and was on his way. Becky was proud when she overheard the IT guy on the phone with his boss telling him about the issue, she was sure it meant it was a serious issue and she was sure she took care of it the right way.


 “Excuse me if you don’t mind me asking,” asked Becky to the man on his way out. “I couldn’t help overhearing you on the phone with your boss. What exactly is an Id ten T problem? Just so I can tell my son.”


 The man smiled, took out a pen, “it stands for this: I-D -1-0-T”

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Tekken 3

Tekken 3 is the third installment in the Tekken fighting game series. The game features a largely new cast of characters, including the debut of several now staple characters such as Jin Kazama, Ling Xiaoyu, Julia Chang and Hwoarang, with a total of twenty three characters. The home version included a new beat'em up mode called Tekken Force, as well as the bonus Tekken Ball mode.

Tekken 3 maintains the same core fighting system and concept as its predecessors, but brings many improvements, such as significantly more detailed graphics and animations, fifteen new characters added to the game's roster, more modern music, and faster and more fluid gameplay.

Tekken 3 has also been listed among the best video games of all time by Electronic Gaming Monthly in 1997, Game Informer in 1999, Computer and Video Games in 2000, GameFAQs in 2005, and Edge in 2007. Arcade Sushi ranked Tekken 3 as the "20th Best PlayStation Game", with comments "Tekken 3 changed everything. Friends became bitter rivals. Bitter rivals became even more bitter rivals.

Conflict desert storm

The Gulf war is an integral part of how gamer will approach Conflict Desert Storm. We're dropped into the Middle East on Aug 2, 1990, the day Iraq invaded Kuwait, and we're shown how a member of our commando unit has been captured by the occupying Iraqi military. You play most of the game with a team four specialists --an assault trooper, sniper, heavy weapons expert and a demolitions expert/medic-- but you pick up new members throughout each of the first four levels. You wont' have the benefit of the sniper, that very same commando that's been captured by Iraq, until you first rescue him in the game's first mission.

Even though there's a very comprehensive training mode, these initial levels where you're meeting up with your team members also ease you into the game's way of thinking. For example there aren't too many obstacles your main character, the assault trooper, can't handle but new challenges arise as you acquire your sniper, heavy machine gunner and explosives expert. With only 15 levels you would think this is a waste, but there's a surprising amount of game play, thanks to lots quick deaths, in Conflict Desert Storm.

Drakan order of the flame

Rynn and her brother Delon caught in a surprise attack by a pack of wartoks, Orc like creatures serving Navaros. Rynn is injured and left for dead and Delon is kidnapped. She survives, however, and returns to her village to find it burned down by Navaros' minions. A mortally wounded village elder instructs her to seek out the dragon Arokh and resurrect the legendary Order of the Flame, an ancient organization of dragon-riding knights who battled evil and disappeared after it had seemingly been defeated. Rynn finds Arokh in an ancient cave and uses the crystal of Arokh's former rider Heron to awaken him from his statue like sleep. Reluctantly, Arokh agrees to merge their existences into one through a magical ritual called the Bond. Gameplay-wise, the Bond allows Rynn to mount Arokh and makes them share their hit points so that when one of them is killed, the other dies, too.

Rynn and Arokh journey across the world of Drakan, solving various challenges, and after countless battles, discover that the minions of Navaros plan to use Delon's body as a host for the evil sorcerer's resurrection. Rynn has to fight the possessed Delon and wins but Navaros leaves his body and escapes. The final boss of the game is Navaros' Four-headed dragon Kaeros whom Rynn and Arokh must fight together. The game ends with a cliffhanger, showing Delon falling into the abyss and Rynn and Arokh following him.

Call of Duty Black Ops II

Call of duty black ops II is one of the best first person shooter video game. It was released on November 13, 2012 for Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 3, and Xbox 360.call of duty black ops II is the ninth game in the call of duty franchise of video games, a sequel to the 2010 game call of duty black ops.


Black Ops II is the first Call of Duty video game to feature branching story lines, in which the player's choice affects both the current mission and in turn, the overall course of the story. Known as "Strike Force missions", these branching story lines appear during the 2025 story line and feature permanent death. The success or failure of these missions can have ramifications for the wider campaign story line. Choosing one of the missions locks out the others unless the player begins a fresh campaign.

One of the biggest changes added to multiplayer in Black Ops II is the introduction of Pick 10, a new system within the Create-a-Class menu. Pick 10 gives the player a total of 10 allocation slots in a class, which are used for guns, perks, grenades, etc... The player can choose to allocate the slots however they like, to either have more attachments for a gun, or more perks.